it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
