It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize