hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
