I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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