we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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