I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was born a porn star she said
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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