Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
