I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
