how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
