I wanna bring you to show and tell
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
