She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
