I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
