We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize