let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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