The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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