Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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