oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
