hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
