Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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