I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
