I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
