yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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