So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
