it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
