You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
