I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
