i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
