Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
