I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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