the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize