im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
