Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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