My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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