you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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