bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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