im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
