I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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