I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
