everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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