I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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