Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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