Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
