I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
