How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
