wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
