Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize