This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My balls are so social today.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
