I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
