What a fucking waste of an outfit
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
