wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
