do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
As shirtless as possible
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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