we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize