Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize