This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
