i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
